A HAPPY SAD GIRL

It didn't have to take Lonely for me to write this poem

But the song scratched a wound written on my heart

If only bottled pain was easy to pour out

Even my head hurts just as I am writing

Not that you care anyway

People walk around with fake smiles and hurting hearts

Living the life of someone you think others think you are

Waking up everyday to repeat the painful process

Some days might be filled with joy

But before you sleep, a tear will fall down

They will wonder why you are the way you are

They will have their conclusions

They will try to solve the problems you don't have

Smiling around you acting like they know you

When they don't even ask how you feel

I look at my phone waiting for your text

I am not a fan of calls

But I won't mind if you do

I just hope you won't start calling me because you read this poem

I might start thinking you like me when I am sad

At least Justin Bieber has someone who listens

But some of us still talk to our invisible friends

Hoping one day they will respond 

Hoping one day the friend I made up will hug me back

And wipe away the tears flowing down my face

I am looking at walls around me

They only know the tears I cried

I sometimes wonder why I cry so much

Mostly when something good happens to someone else in movies and shows

I wonder if it has anything to do with what I never had

With all the years that have passed though

Pain has become a part of me

I have grown to believe that it doesn't hurt to cry sometimes

And feeling sad isn't as bad as they say

Because love isn't something I believe in that much anyway

I might sound sad but I am happy 

I am thankful of all the pain and sadness

They made me a better person

Don't feel sad that you are sad

You are just human.

-Ariane Dushime